You wake up in bed one morning. It’s bright, but there is an eerie silence. Not a single bird is singing, no voices can be heard outside, no noises of any sort. Suddenly, you hear a soft sort of chanting. It gets louder and louder, and you realize, it’s not chanting, it’s some sort of rock song. It increases in volume, seems to come from no where and yet everywhere at once, and then it merges into the sound of male voices intensely chanting “BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL”.

     You hurriedly stagger outside, and all your neighbors are outside as well. Everyone is frozen with their eyes fixed on the sky. None of them make any movements or sounds. They just stare. You look up as well.

     In the sky, you see the gigantic face of a smiling man in a bow tie. His face gets closer and closer, and larger as he gets nearer. The song gets louder until your ears feel like they’re going to explode. Eventually, the entire sky is taken up by the man’s face. The time is now up for humanity. The end is Nye.

I’m dying man, I’m sorry, I’m done

(Source: pyrooster)


Our creative writing class was … Interesting. We “battled” each other and my creative writing teacher chose who won or died. #greenisnotacreativecolor

we all know that I should have won…

  • Narrator: During WW2 the weather was very important to Hitler, especially before an invasion, so he had a weather adviser who would tell him what the weather would be like, so one day Hitler went to his adviser...
  • Hitler: Adviser! What's the weather going to be like today!
  • Adviser: Oh, it's going to Hail Hitler!

Not only would I be the best serial killer ever but I would whistle as I did it, you know, the murdering. I’d whistle and tell jokes and be all happy as I murdered the people. Like I’d be all all like, knock knock, and they’d be like who’s there, and I’d be like mah knife, and then they’d be dead.


On my way to eat da pussy


me on my way to steal yo girl

Why are so many people claiming this Jahar tsarnaev fellow is innocent? He could very well be guilty, of course while innocence until proven guilty is still applicable, he is also guilty until proven innocent.

In light of the Boston bombing the NRA has made this statement at a press confrence

"The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker, is a good guy with a pressure cooker…"


Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit

Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad


If you self proclaim yourself as weird odds are that you’re not entirely weird, see the reason why there are so many weird old people/adults and why they’re sometimes the coolest people ever is because they have dedicated their life to the fine art of weirdness. Now saying this, I am not truly weird yet myself, I still have a long ways to go as do many, but there will come a point where you will be so weird the people won’t even consider you weird, and will find you more as a disturbing oddity, that my friends is when you have become truly weird. When you have not a care in the world because everything seems so strange, so laughably strange, and you just go along, doing what you do, not a single care in your mind, then you are truly weird. A marvel of the human race, one who sees all others as weird, as everything in this world as weird and goes along without a care, without trying to be like anyone else, just going along, bringing joy and slight discomfort to people’s lives, that is truly being weird. We have much to learn, so let’s get cracking!


“there’s gonna be 7 planets left.. after I destroy your anus”

six actually after you blow my venus…sorry, just kinda had to, anyone else got any planet jokes?

Internet this is weird even for you…


Soon kids won’t be able to.

Children now a days are F.U.C.K.E.D

why is Eddy missing his pupils, seriously look, he just has demon eyes 0-0

(Source: iraffiruse)


i don’t think the “close door” button on any elevator anywhere works. i think they just put it there so we’ll hit it 100 times, and then feel really satisfied when the doors finally close. like, “yeahh, i made those fuckin’ doors close. they’re my bitch.”

every time


@snickersthebun …on the floor again #CreativeWriting

Oh Swithers…what would we do without you?